What Bay Area kids truly need…

I grew up in West Menlo Park. Near the Dutch Goose. 

My friends and I would roll around our neighborhood’s streets daily.

Looking for mischief.

Riding around on bikes, razor scooters and rollerblades.

We’d make epic journeys across town to meet up with friends and play in the streets till dark.

We’d sneak onto the nicest private school fields. And would play Home Run Derby until security kicked us out.

Back then, this was how we played…

I now live with my own family, just miles from where I grew up.

I run Legends programming at La Entrada, the middle school I went to, and drive the same streets my friends and I grew up roaming 7 days a week.

But nowadays, THE STREETS ARE EMPTY. 

In the morning, I see hundreds of kids biking to school in flocks and then biking home in the afternoon.

But, outside of school hours and on weekends, the same streets – where we’d play pickup roller hockey for hours – are completely barren.

As a youth sports coach of 15 years, I can point to a variety of reasons why…

I’ve personally witnessed how this lack of unsupervised, unstructured play is negatively impacting kids in the Bay Area…

In the rest of this post I will offer some ideas on what we, as parents, can do about it… 

I will articulate what Legends is doing to navigate these complex dynamics and how we plan to inspire more “free-range” activities on the baseball field and beyond…

WARNING: I am not a researcher or social scientist. While I have over 15 years of experience coaching kids and witnessing what has changed in their lives during this decade+, I am simply reporting back my observations as a youth baseball experience designer and leader across several coaching communities, locally and nationally. If what I’m sharing with you makes you uncomfortable, I am sincerely sorry – and I welcome hearing your thoughts on what I might be missing. 

As many of you know (from consuming social media at the very least), there is a large and growing body of research and literature about declining mental health within Gen Z and now, Generation Alpha (today’s youth).

The adolescent mental health crisis is real and becoming more intractable by the day.

Instead of citing data, I will offer my personal observations and anecdotes without a ton of commentary. I’ll save that for future posts :-) 

I’ll start with WHY I believe kids no longer play outside.

I will then offer WHY I think this is a big deal worth writing a blog post about…

Here are the factors contributing to this trend. 

Of course, depending on the community you live in, there are several layers of complexity at play, but – from what I’ve witnessed – these are the primary drivers across most Bay Area communities… 

• Ubiquitous technology – Screens are everywhere – and low-calorie media is overwhelmingly easy to get sucked into passively watching. It’s hard for outdoor play to compete with video games, iPads, and 60” 4k televisions. All designed by companies to keep kids (and adults) engaged as long as possible.
• The world feels less safe for kids to play outside alone – Because of technology we have access to information which makes us feel the world is less safe, despite the reality that our kids are actually safer than ever before.
• Over-scheduling kids – Kids are participating in numerous extracurriculars simultaneously. Kids will play soccer, travel ball, Little League Fall Ball, and Legends all at the same time.
• Elitist, competitive culture – We all want our kids to excel. And we think the key to “keeping up” is more programming, private lessons, and tutors.
• Busy parents – The Bay Area is expensive. We need to work hard to put food on the table. Putting kids on a screen or in a structured program is easier and less anxiety-inducing than letting them roam outside.
• Bigger houses – Wealth in the Bay Area leads to larger houses and more overall distance between neighbors, creating spatial barriers that decrease opportunities for kids to knock on neighbor’s doors and buddy-bounce from house to house looking for play partners.
• Fewer community gathering spaces – Land is expensive. While there are many parks there aren’t many great community hubs where kids can easily congregate safely.
• COVID – The pandemic has put up even more perceptual walls between our kids. COVID contributed to mental health issues, technology dependencies, and poor habits – all effects we are still experiencing and learning about as the pandemic gradually morphs into an endemic.

Here are the symptoms of the issues noted above. 

These are the changes I have observed in kids – from tee-ballers to tweens to teens – over the years since I started coaching in the Bay Area 15 years ago… 

• Significant – and increasing – mental health issues
• Increased diagnosis of ADD and ADHD
• Kids across the spectrum of introversion and extroversion struggling to engage in conversation, especially on sensitive topics
• Leadership is rare – fewer kids are emerging up as confident leaders of their peers
• Less capacity for safe conflict within  peer groups
• Kids constantly asking for hugs from our coaches
• Obesity, sleep deprivation, caved chests, and poor posture (usually caused by cell phone or tablet usage)
• Instant gratification – everything is “on demand” all the time
• Decreased mental toughness, even in the face of minimal adversity
• Ghosting (mainly teenagers)
• Inability to handle high-pressure (or even low-pressure) situations
• Me > We as opposed to We > Me (i.e. kids focused more on what’s good for them individually than what’s good for the group/team/family/community)
• More distracted athletes with less ability to reach what brain research experts call “flow state”

Here is how I have adapted to this over the last 5 years. 

This is how I train Legends and Little League coaches (including through this year’s new development – the “Legendary Life Playbook”)…

• Laser focus on self-regulation techniques (breathing, reset strategies, etc.)
• Full departure from elitist, hyper-competitive travel ball culture
• Gathering in circles to moderate mindful conversations (example: “campfire” discussions at both the start and end of practice)
• Teaching meditation, visualization, and positive self talk
• Growth mindset: focusing on process instead of results (delayed gratification)
• Teaching and speaking about tech-life balance
• Teaching kids public speaking best practices
• Asking kids to verbally set intentions and follow through (goal-setting and achieving)
• Creation and execution of self-awareness exercises
• Rewarding great teamwork and communication
• Primarily communicating with kids in person (vs. parents through technology)
• Having kids self-assess their performance verbally and in writing
• No phone/smartwatch rule at practices and games

I am a father of 2 young kids, along with my wife Kailey.

Kailey and I decided early on in our parenting experience that we would commit to doing everything possible to create an environment in which our kids can be “free-range kids” as they grow up in the Bay Area.

In time, I hope to land in a neighborhood in my community where our neighbors share a goal of having kids run house to house, playing freely.

YOU are an awesome parent.

I know you are, because you value what Legends has to offer your child and you’re continuing to spend your valuable time reading this post because what I’ve observed – and that you’ve experienced as well – resonates… Right?

For all of these reasons and many more, I have dedicated my life to designing immersive experiences that transform the lives of kids, their families, their communities, and the world.

For 15 years, I have created experiences that inspire and help kids and families discover the joy and value of unstructured, unsupervised play.

And while I can not instruct parents to let their kids run around the streets, my vision is to create a program where my best coaches simply hold space for kids to run freely and do what kids are supposed to do:

JUST PLAY!

No parents supervising.

No adults score keeping.

No instruction.

No umpires.

No structure.

No agenda.

Sounds different (and yet familiar), huh?

Well, it is.

This is why I – along with a team of coaches who share our values – launched the Legends Sandlot Experience this winter (Register Now: Peninsula | South Bay).

It’s pretty simple, really…

• Drop in whatever days or times you want for however long you want.

• Up to 3 hours on select weekend mornings.

• Of course it has to be supervised – and safety will be prioritized – but there will be zero agenda or game plan.

• Our coaches will be there as facilitators to give suggestions and will have every piece of baseball equipment necessary out there to do whatever it is the kids want to do.

Some kids may show up and feel lost. Bored. And confused.

That’s the point.

We’ll help them feel welcomed.

They’ll make new friends this way.

Their minds will wonder.

Creative thoughts will run through their heads.

New games will be invented.

Just like “The Sandlot” – a beloved baseball movie harkening back to the free-range baseball experiences our kids rarely experience in the 21st Century – ballplayers will have FUN while learning how to self-organize and self-regulate.

They’ll practice group-play skills they will need to fully develop when they grow into adults…in their families, in their work lives, and beyond.

Honestly… I. CAN. NOT. WAIT!

Perhaps not surprisingly, Legends Sandlot Experience (Register Now: Peninsula | South Bay) is also the lowest-cost program we are offering to Legends families this winter. And – with very little word-of-mouth until now – registrations are starting to take off.

I hope you decide to register so your child can play with us this winter.

But, even if you don’t register, I hope you can join others within your community who share similar values and want to foster similar experiences for our kids.

If you made it to the bottom of this email, and it is inspiring you – or making you uncomfortable – in any way, please feel free to click here and let me know how this is landing.

The more we share our experiences with each other, the more we’ll be able to create the kid-filled communities we dream about, whether it’s during a Legends Sandlot Experience or watching kids spontaneously play baseball with their buddies in our back (and front) yards – just like the “old” days.

PS. If you’d like to learn more and register for the Sandlot Experience 👉🏼 CLICK HERE for the Peninsula and 👉🏼 HERE for South Bay. Marin… stand by 😉

Be Legendary,
Captain Fun