How To Help Your Child Reframe “Failures”

Does your child get discouraged?
Has your child had tough moments this season?

Of course they have, they are kids! And they’re playing the most self-esteem destroying sport in the world!

Baseball, as in life, is often unfair. A player can execute a perfect swing, clobber the ball, but still get out! Baseball is a very challenging sport, which is probably why most quit by the age of 13.

This post is to help parents of players who are too hard on themselves and are often frustrated when not having “success on the field”.

Here’s breakdown of the 4 concepts your child must internalize when self-reflecting about their game performance.

Hit Ball Hard = You WIN!
Success at the plate does not mean getting hits. If your child hits the ball hard, HE WON! He is successful even though he didn’t get on base. In time, those hard hit balls which are caught will drop, and they will equate to hits. We call an at-bat, where a player hits it hard, a “quality at bat”. It’s not about getting hits, it’s about hitting the ball hard. If your child hits it hard, EVERYONE at the ballpark knows your child beat the pitcher! (the pitcher just got lucky the ball went to a fielder).

Action: Praise your child for hitting the ball hard. Not for getting hits.

Did You Help Your Team?
Baseball is a team sport. At the end of the day, individual success should mean nothing. It should be all about the team. Any great fortune or successes in this world are created by high powered teams. Instead of focusing on your child’s individual performance, focus on ways your child helped his team. Maybe it was the 1 or 2 good plays in the field. Maybe it is warming up the pitcher. Maybe it was the sacrifice fly in the 5thinning, or the great energy he demonstrated in the dugout! Championship teams exist when its players sacrifice the ME for the WE.

Action: Help your child acknowledge how he helped his team compete, instead of individual on field performance only.

Are You Showing Progress?
If your child is getting overly concerned with getting hits and winning games, they are likely going to be less focused on the process of what it takes to be successful. Instead of focusing on results, focus on progress and continuous growth. Imagine if your child got 1% better every time they stepped on the field! Growth fuels more growth!

Action: Help your child reflect on how his performance is improving game to game and practice to practice. Ie. In the Monday game he struck out all 3 times. In the Thursday game he struck out only once and made contact twice. This is progress!

Attitude, Effort and Preparation: Control the Controllables!
There is so much in baseball and in life we have no control over. We can’t control the other team’s pitcher, the umpires, the field conditions etc., but we can ALWAYS control our attitude, our effort and our preparation. If your child brought a positive attitude, gave maximum effort and prepared before the game to the best of their ability, that is all they can do! You and your child should NEVER be disappointed if they gave it their all and controlled the controllables!

Action: Ask your child to evaluate their attitude, effort and preparation after the day. If they gave themselves a great score, they did all they could do to find success and help their team compete!

Hope these little nuggets help! I DO enjoy getting some replies so if this makes an impact, please shoot me a quick email!

Final message… When dropping your child off for a game or practice, try saying “Have fun, be the hardest worker out there and thank your coaches!”

Have a great week of baseball!

-Coach Klein