10 Ways To Help Your Child “Reset” After A Mistake

Coping with baseball’s ups and downs is essential to developing a better player and a better person.

We hear it all the time because it’s true, baseball is a game of failure. Even the best hitters in the world fail seven out of ten times (a .300 average is VERY good)! The failure aspect of baseball makes things difficult for youth ball players who do not have strategies to deal with, and move on from their perception of failure. Furthermore, unlike basketball or soccer where the games move fast, if a youth ball player makes an error or strikes out, he often needs to wait a significant amount of time (or a few innings) until his next opportunity. This dead time in between opportunities leaves a lengthy window for negative thinking, self doubt, and anxiousness.

Think of it like an internal traffic light. When your internal traffic light is green, everything is going great – you are competing at your highest level – you are playing in the moment and you’re in the zone!

When your internal light is yellow, it signals that you’re in trouble and are slowly beginning to spiral out of control mentally.

A red light is when you’re really struggling. Maybe you made a bad error, walked a few batters or struck out for your 3rd time – your mind is racing, you’re tense, and you just want the game to be over. You’ve lost all control of your emotions when your red light is on.

Situations like this provide great opportunities to teach youth ball players one of the most important life lessons there is; dwelling on past mistakes will not help performance, it will only hurt one’s ability to compete at a high level.

Over the years, I have recognized that this is one of the most prevalent and important lessons youth ball players must learn. As a parent or coach, it is our job to provide kids with actionable strategies they can implement so they can compete with their green light on, flush their mistakes, and look to the next pitch without letting the past impact the present.

I recommend that coaches and parents work with their kids on developing a “release” which is specific to that individual. All players are different. As a result, particular “release” and “reset” strategies work better for some than others. Here are a few options that I have implemented with athletes ranging from 9 year old beginners to 24 year old professionals.

After making a mistake or an error and the yellow or red light is on…

• Take your glove or hat off and take a few deep breaths. When you put it back on, the last play is forgotten. It is 100% done with, and the focus returns to the present moment.
• Take a long, slow deep breath. Chances are your face, neck and chest are tight with frustration. Take a couple of breaths and make sure your muscles let go as you exhale.
• Pick up some grass, a rock, or put something else into your hand. Squeeze the object and put all your negative emotions into it. When ready, throw the object and your negative emotions away!
• Smooth things over. Wipe smooth a footprint in the dirt with your foot to clear away the last play or your last at-bat.
• Write a personal power phrase in your hat and look at it often for positive reinforcement. With a black sharpie, write a phrase which helps you relax and brings confidence. Whenever in a jam, remove your hat, read the words, take a deep breath, and put your hat back on.
• Tense up and relax your muscles. Physically tense up and clench parts of your body which are holding tension. Releasing tension can allow one to relax and take the mind off whatever was bothering you.
• Visualize. Close your eyes for a moment and visualize what you want to happen on the field. Also, visualize a failure and see yourself responding from that failure and finding success!
• Talk or sing to yourself. Positive self-talk goes a long way. Some players need to almost yell at themselves like, “Let’s go Dave! You got this!” Others may need to talk to themselves more calmly; “Just believe in yourself Dave”, or “Trust yourself.”
• Fix your posture. By focusing on your body posture you can immediately elevate your mood and improve your body language. Winning posture is head up with chest out. Not deflated or with head down.
• Take a walk. Allow yourself to leave the dugout, go to the bathroom, or walk around the pitcher’s mound/batter’s circle. Tell yourself, “On this walk, I’m going to allow myself to get all my anger and frustration out, but the moment I return, it’s over with!”
• Press the reset button. The button on the top of your hat. That’s the reset button. That’s why it’s there! Just press it and take a deep breath! ;)
• Go to your happy place. Close your eyes and think of a person, place or thing that relaxes you or brings your joy. Focus on that hard for a few moments. Visualize. When you open your eyes you may be more relaxed than before.

Coaches, a good way to work on this failure issue is to chat with your players about their internal traffic lights. Have them go home and think about how they can release negative emotions and turn yellow and red lights into green ones.

At the start of your next practice, hand out 3×5 flash cards and have each player write down their release strategy. Once you learn their release, you can hold them accountable for it when they enter yellow and red light territory.

I’m happy to answer any questions or come and talk to your team about this common issue that all ball players face, but few know how to cope with. Hope this helps!

—David and the Legends